be our friend! we promise to keep in touch.

look who is watching girlfriendbooks

books we like

fiction loversfriends in needglamour girlsfinancially savvyfitness queensdomestic goddesshealthy girlssex and the girlfriendmommiessingle girlspolitically savvyworking girlsnew age chicks

In need of some motivation?

Inc. recently posted their top ten most motivating books of all time. Have you read one of them lately? Our favorite:Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff–and it’s all small stuff. A must read!

same day payday loans

For when there are no words.

Girlfriendbooks’hearts are in Newtown,Connecticut with the families of those little angels.

Kiera’s story

It wasn’t until the age of 30 that Kiera Van Gelder was finally given a diagnosis –Borderline Personality Disorder. It explained so much that had happened in her life up until then –a suicide attempt,drug addiction,failed relationships,promiscuity and depression. But even with a diagnosis and medication,life remained difficult.

In her brutally honest and insightful book,The Buddha and the Borderline:My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy,Buddhism,and Online Dating,Kiera introduces us to the daily struggles of a borderline. Bravely,she holds nothing back,writing about everything from her issues with her mother to her sometimes shocking sex life. It is a raw account of a young woman simply trying to get better –to be able to hold down a job,sustain a relationship,and get through one day without feeling like one giant exposed nerve. At times it is a heartbreaking book to read,to feel Kiera’s pain.

Her road to recovery brings her into a different type of therapy than she had done in the past –Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It is a form of therapy that finally helps her and it becomes a bridge over which she could finally see past some of her pain and make decisions about her life. It culminates in Kiera moving into a group Buddhist home and discovering the peace and serenity she craved all of her life.

Although definitely not a light read,The Buddha and the Borderline is an engrossing look inside the mind of a borderline,from devastation to discovery.

About the Author: Kiera Van Gelder,MFA,is a writer,artist,and educator. She currently lives at a Tibetan Buddhist Meditation Center in Massachusetts and is at work on her second memoir. You can visit her here.

Into the world of mothers and daughters.

Like all of us,my life is busy. So,when I take the time to cuddle up on the couch and escape into literature,I’m hoping for a story that’s compelling,emotional and relatable. Shout Her Lovely Name didn’t disappoint. Natalie Serber’s collection of short stories was the perfect book to spend an evening with.

In its purest form,Shout Her Lovely Name is an exploration into the world of mothers and their daughters and the many ways in which they are intricately,unavoidably connected. The collection opens with a too-true,heart-wrenching story of a mother struggling to understand and accept her teenage daughter’s eating disorder without losing her own identity. Serber then treats readers to multiple stories or a “suite of stories” centered on Ruby and her daughter Nora,as they navigate their relationship with men,alcohol and one another. The collection is rounded out with a final mother – daughter pair struggling to find some common ground.

With novels,readers have the luxury of living in a world for two to three hundred pages. In short stories,readers are often not given the time to fully grasp the characters and their lives. Shout Her Lovely Name,however,provides the audience with the best of both worlds. Each story is self-contained and could stand alone,yet because the mother – daughter relationships Serber describes are so primal and interwoven,as a reader I was kept in a place of love,pain and raw emotion for the duration of the collection. Each story,each relationship,felt intimately tied to the previous one,even when the characters were different. Reading the stories together was like piecing together pictures of a family photo album—in the end all of the pieces make sense together,even though the people in the photographs have changed. As a young woman,Shout Her Lovely Name roused my emotions page after page. It was an incredibly satisfying read.

About the Author:  Natalie Serber grew up in Santa Cruz,California,an only child of a single mother.  Read about her interesting journey from stay at home mom to published author at Good Reads.

This review was written by girlfriend Kiri Bee.

Food for your imperfect life.

No matter what mood you are in,or what you are dealing with,Eat Your Feelings:Recipes for Self-Loathing,has a recipe for it. Did you discover your closest friend was never really your friend at all?  How about a “Best Friend is a Total Bitch Grilled Cheese Sandwich”? Couldn’t wait for your husband to leave for work this morning? Whip up “Your Marriage is a Disaster Sicilian Lasagna”. Career going nowhere? Surely some “Forty Years Old and Fired From Starbucks Chewy Fruit and Nut Cookie Stacks”will make you feel better.

Heather Whaley has written a very funny book/cookbook that could possibly replace your therapist.  Yes,the recipe names are funny and many of the recipes look quite good,but she also describes in hilarious detail how to cook. For example,when making the “Baby Won’t Stop Crying Nachos Supreme”,one should:

Preheat oven to 350. Using your most soothing voice,talk to baby,explaining that you are making nachos. Spread chips on baking sheet. Tell baby that nachos are a delicious treat that someday she will enjoy,particularly in college –if she makes it to college. Realize baby does not understand you –seems,in fact,to cry louder at the sound of your voice. Wonder if baby will always be ungrateful.

Whaley also provides some very helpful lists at the end of the book,including:

Some Places To Eat Your Feelings (such as “across the street from your old boyfriend’s house”),
Some Books To Read While Eating Your Feelings (like “Sex For Dummies”),&
Some Music To Listen to While Eating Your Feelings (“You’re So Vain”by Carly Simon is a good choice).

Life isn’t perfect,but Eat Your Feelings is here to help ease the pain –one meal at a time.

About the Author: Heather Whaley is a writer,actress and lifelong eater.  She lives in New York City.  You can visit Heather here.

Seeking beauty.

Marilynne Robinson,known for her award-winning novels Housekeeping,Gilead,and Home,is also an accomplished and thoughtful essayist,and When I Was a Child I Read Books:Essays,her latest collection,does not disappoint. These essays are no easy beach read,but readers will find reward in spending time with the author’s deep knowledge of herself and her interests (not to mention the beautiful writing). The topics range from American history and current cultural affairs to religion (often her own Calvinist beliefs) to science and finally,the importance of seeking beauty – and reality –through fiction.

Robinson writes,“I continuously attempt to make inroads on the vast terrain of what cannot be said – or said by me,at least.”  Her essays do indeed make inroads into this terrain,and they surely bring a greater understanding – as well as a greater curiosity – to all who read them.  With this effort,she is doing more than her part to assuage her own fears that America is losing its unique ethos that has brought it such historical success.

About the Author: Marilynne Robinson teaches at the University of Iowa Writers’ Workshop.  If you’d like to know more about this work visit her here.

This review was written by girlfriend Kristin Awsumb Liu.

The gift of fear.

Last night before going to sleep I was in the middle of a chapter in Gavin De Becker’s book,The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence,titled “Fear of Children”. The chapter is about violent teenagers and young adults. De Becker talks about the single most reliable predictor of violence in young people:child abuse. In one paragraph he talks about the difference one person can make in the life of a child who is suffering abuse at home:

“I have learned that the kindness of a teacher,a coach,a police officer,a neighbor,the parent of a friend,is never wasted. These moments are likely to pass with neither the child nor the adult fully knowing the significance of the contribution. No ceremony attaches to the moment that a child sees his own worth reflected in the eyes of an encouraging adult.

Though nothing apparent marks the occasion,inside that child a new view of self might take hold. He is not just a person deserving of neglect or violence,not just a person who is a burden to the sad adults in his life,not just a child who fails to solve his family’s problems,who fails to rescue them from pain or madness or addiction or poverty or unhappiness. No,this child might be someone else,someone whose appearance before this one adult revealed specialness or lovability,or value.  This value might be shown through appreciation of a child’s artistic talent,physical ability,humor,courage,patience,curiosity,resourcefulness,responsibility,energy,or any of the many attributes that children bring us in such abundance. 

It might literally be a matter of a few hours with a person whose kindness reconnects the child to an earlier experience of self,a self that was loved and valued and encouraged. Sadly,for children who didn’t have nurturing even in infancy,there isn’t any frame of reference,no file in the mind in which to place kindness and recognition so that they might be seen as part of life.”

As I woke this morning to the news of the movie theatre shooting in Colorado,I wondered if one person could have changed the course of that young man’s life. De Becker goes on to say that his conclusions show the great value of mentoring and of programs like Big Brother and Big Sisters.

The Gift of Fear is a must-read.  It is a book about protecting yourself and your loved ones from violence,written by the nation’s leading expert on violent behavior.  Especially for women,this book is an invaluable resource for saving yourself from not only violence,but from getting involved with the type of man who will ruin your life.

About the author: Gavin De Becker is a three-time presidential appointee whose firm advises many of the world’s most prominent media figures,corporations,and law enforcement agencies on predicting violence. You can learn more about him here.

This review was written by girlfriend Maria Micolucci.

I’m tired.

It’s very rare that a book keeps me up half the night. But I just couldn’t put Happens Every Day down. Isabel Gillies’story about the seriously awful end of her marriage was so personal,it felt like I was reading an extra long email.

Imagine being deeply in love with your handsome,professor husband,so much so that you leave the city you love and move to a small town in Ohio where you know no one so he could teach at a small college. You have two very young,beautiful boys,and you and your loving husband buy and renovate your dream home. Life is perfect. Then,a few months later,you discover your husband crying in the den of your home. As you approach him,he says through his tears,“I can’t do this”.

Boom.

It turns out the new English professor he has known for a month has become more important to him than you,your children,or your life together. It’s over and you are left with no place to live,no money,and the prospect of being a single mom to two toddlers.

Imagine that.

“I can’t do this anymore”.

In Perfect Chaos the “this”Cinda Johnson’s daughter Linea keeps referring to is “live”. In this emotionally raw account of surviving bi-polar disorder,we hear the haunting thoughts of a daughter determined to end her life,and the story of a mother trying to save her. You won’t be able to put this book down.

Releasing today –you,philanthropist.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said “The giving of love is an education in itself”. You may not think you have the wealth to become a philanthropist,but in her new book,Giving 2.0:Transform Your Giving and Our World,Laura Arrillaga-Andreessen shows us that anyone can be one,because it’s not just about the money.